3rd and Short

Week 6

Last Week: 8-6

Season Record: 43-27

As in third week of short and sweet picks.  We’re down to snappy one-liners everybody.  Wow life is busy…

 

Oakland Raiders (1-3) @ Atlanta Falcons (5-0)

Falcons beat up on the worst 34-10

 

Cincinnati Bengals (3-2) @ Cleveland Browns (0-5)

It has to happen sometime for Cleveland, Browns win the battle of Ohio 24-21

 

St. Louis Rams (3-2) @ Miami Dolphins (2-3)

The horned helmets rock South Beach 21-10

 

Indianapolis Colts (2-2) @ New York Jets (2-3)

The game features 3 of the most talked about quarterbacks in college football in the last decade, and the Colts pull of the upset even though they only have one of them, 17-10

 

Detroit Lions (1-3) @ Philadelphia Eagles (3-2)

Eagles win the Disappointing Teams Bowl 13-10

 

Kansas City Chiefs (1-4) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-3)

The Bucs will beat the Chiefs 14-10, but will anyone notice?

 

Dallas Cowboys (2-2) @ Baltimore Ravens (4-1)

It’s an even numbered week, so Dallas will lose.  24-14

 

Buffalo Bills (1-4) @ Arizona Cardinals (4-1)

Bills bought a defense this offseason, they’ve given up more than 40 points 3 times this year.  Cards don’t score 40+, win 35-14

 

New England Patriots (3-2) @ Seattle Seahawks (3-2)

Tom Brady’s first game action in Seattle won’t end well for Mr. Bundchen as the Hawks offense does just enough to win 16-14

 

New York Giants (3-2) @ San Francisco 49ers (4-1)

NFC Championship game rematch and Kyle Williams will be wearing a little different gloves than he wore during the January matchup.  That helps San Fran win 28-24

 

Minnesota Vikings (4-1) @ Washington Redskins (2-3)

The number 4 pick Matt Kalil paves the way for Adrian Peterson to run all over the number 2 pick’s team 24-13

 

Green Bay Packers (2-3) @ Houston Texans (5-0)

The game of the day puts the Packers even further behind the 8 ball with the Texans up ending the Pack 31-17

 

Denver Broncos (2-3) @ San Diego Chargers (3-2)

Chargers win the first Rivers/Manning western match-up 27-14

For Titans, life’s the Pitts

Pittsburgh Steelers (2-2) @ Tennessee Titans (1-4)

You see that Titans record, hear about Jake Locker’s non-throwing shoulder being hurt, see that they are 30th in the league in rushing even though they have Chris Johnson, and the title of this post isn’t a fun play on words designed to use both teams, it’s just the stone cold truth.  A little closer look shows that all of their losses have come against teams with winning records, including the perfect Texans and the 4-1 Vikings, so it’s not like they are playing the Browns and Chiefs every week.  This week is no easier as the always dangerous Steelers come to town, though likely without Troy Polamalu in uniform.  They have had trouble with teams that do not have a green color scheme this year, as the Broncos and Raiders have them winless out west, but the Eagles and Jets have been fodder for wins at home.

Hard to Tenne-SEE a win for the Titans here, even though there is nary a string of green on their uniform.  Steelers win 21-10

Another Muggsy Week

Last Week: 8-7

Season Record: 35-21

Bye Weeks: Dallas, Detroit, Oakland, Tampa Bay

Another short week, but more picks comin’ at ya!

 

Miami Dolphins (1-3) @ Cincinnati Bengals (3-1)

Miami had the Cards shuffled last Sunday, and let em off the hook.  Cincy has to be the quietest 3-1 in the league right now.  How quiet?  They have the same record as the Ravens, and are better than the Steelers, and you probably didn’t know that.

The Bengals will hold on for the win 17-10

 

Green Bay Packers (2-2) @ Indianapolis Colts (1-3)

The Pack attack won the Desperation Bowl over New Orleans at Lambeau on Sunday, so they have less reason to panic.  Makes you wonder how good the Packers really are though.

With Greg Jennings resting up in bed with an injury, the Packers will win, but it won’t be easy, 21-17

 

Baltimore Ravens (3-1) @ Kansas City Chiefs (1-3)

Last time these teams met was in the playoffs on this very field.  The Chiefs had FINALLY made it back to the playoffs and got to host a game!  Who do they host?  One of the best teams of the past decade who is USED to playing their playoff games on the road.  KC’s playoff trip was a quick one.

This game will likely be over quickly too, Ravens 31-10

 

Cleveland Browns (0-4) @ New York Giants (2-2)

The Brownies have been in every game this season, but being IN every game doesn’t put any crooked numbers under the W column.

This game won’t fall under the W column either.  Giants 24-14

 

Philadelphia Eagles (3-1) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2)

The battle of Pennsylvania is renewed for the first time since 2008, as battle being dominated by the Eagles 46-27. 

Pennsylvania is painted Black and Yellow for the weekend, Steelers win 21-17

 

Atlanta Falcons (4-0) @ Washington Redskins (2-2)

I’m not sure how ATL escaped last week.  Carolina had them beat, in the Georgia Dome of all places, and they let it slip right through Cam Newton’s fingers.  Washington is riding high after a hard fought road win in Tampa.

RGIII gets his first win at home, stunning Atlanta 28-27

 

Seattle Seahawks (2-2) @ Carolina Panthers (1-3)

If you would’ve told me the Seahawks would start out the season 2-2, I would’ve been disappointed that they didn’t beat the two big name teams on their schedule, but happy they beat two division rivals, thus putting them in great position to win the NFC West.  So while I’m happy they beat Dallas and Green Bay, the losses to Arizona and St. Louis could prove too costly down the stretch. 

Carolina’s chip on their shoulder from last week won’t be enough as the Seahawk defense keeps Newton in check. 13-10 Seattle wins’ but the quarterback controversy rages on.

 

Chicago Bears (3-1) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (1-3)

When Jay Cutler isn’t giving his coaches the Marshawn, he is doing pretty well this season.  He leads his Bears onto the road again, this time to face a Jacksonville team that can’t quite put it together yet. 

The young Jags continue improving, but the Bears D leads a Chicago win 20-10

 

Tennessee Titans (1-3) @ Minnesota Vikings (3-1)

I’m not even sure the Minnesota Vikings saw this start coming.  But now they are the favored team, not a position they are used to.

Matt Hasselbeck throws a couple picks, but more touchdowns as Tennessee pulls the upset 17-14

 

Denver Broncos (2-2) @ New England Patriots (2-2)

They haven’t met since Week 11 of 2010, and no one has missed it more than ESPN.  Manning’s injury caused him to miss the Colts/Patriots game last year, so you know the fates would somehow align to bring this quarterback battle together again.  Lost in the Manning/Brady hubbub, with both teams coming in at 2-2, this is a fairly pivitol game not only for these two teams, but for the rest of the teams in their respective division as well.

Manning will go into Brady’s house and do pretty much whatever he wants.  Broncos win 31-28

 

Buffalo Bills (2-2) @ San Francisco 49ers (3-1)

The Bills are somehow tied for first in the AFC East, even after thinking the game was only 37 minutes long last week against the Patriots.  Now they fly cross country to play against what some say is the best team in the NFL.

9ers open up some whoop ass on the Bills, 31-10

 

San Diego Chargers (3-1) @ New Orleans Saints (0-4)

Well Sean Payton will be in the Super Dome, so maybe NOW the Saints will be allowed to win.  With the quietly good Chargers invading, it won’t be easy.

Brees will get his record, the Chargers will get the win 24-14

 

Houston Texans (4-0) @ New York Jets (2-2)

Not sure how the Jets are 2-2, but this phase won’t last long.  Not with their best defender (Darrell Revis) and best offensive target (Santonio Holmes) gone for the season.  Maybe they catch the Texans napping?

Ummmmmmm, no.  The Texans show America that they are really good, win 31-7

NFC Best Battle

Arizona Cardinals (4-0) @ St. Louis Rams (2-2)

When this game came on the schedule at the beginning of the season, Rich Eisen and the NFL Network guys probably muttered some very unairable words under their breath.  Now it may be the best Thursday Night game on the schedule so far featuring the best division in the NFL.  Both are coming off wins last week and both are playing their second divisional game of the season.  In a division where no one is below .500, every divisional win will be huge.  Any team 0-2 in the division has REALLY put themselves behind the 8-Ball… (Dash it all Seahawks!)

Arizona can’t stay perfect, especially when 3 of their 4 wins are by 4 points or less.  Rams upend ‘Zona 17-14

 

Looking to Rebound…

Week 4

Week 3: 7-9

Season: 27-21

This is gonna be a more abbreviated week of picks y’all.  Play by play opportunity, mini reunion, close friend’s birthday and just regular life have made this a crazy week.  But I will still put myself out there as a gridiron “expert”.  Why?  Because I CARE!

 

Carolina Panthers (1-2) @ Atlanta Falcons (3-0)

Atlanta is hot.  Carolina is not.

Falcons make the street run Scarlett with Panther blood 21-10

 

New England Patriots (1-2) @ Buffalo Bills (2-1)

Hard to believe a Bills win would drop the Pats to 1-3 on the year.  Will it happen?

Picked it right last year, I don’t know when to quit, Bills make it two years in row beating the Pats at Orchard Park 28-24

 

Minnesota Vikings (2-1) @ Detroit Lions (1-2)

Not where many saw these teams three weeks into the season, and the Lions probably SHOULD be 0-3 were it not for a little late game miracle against STL.

Lions home cook the Vikes 21-14

 

San Diego Chargers (2-1) @ Kansas City Chiefs (1-2)

The Chargers surf on Rivers in attempt to flood KC’s Cassel.  Too bad Ryan Moats isn’t involved in this game.

With no Knight to protect them, KC is flooded by SD 17-10

 

Seattle Seahawks (2-1) @ St. Louis Rams (1-2)

The Hawks do NOT play as well at 10 AM Specific Time.  The Rams do NOT play well against the Seahawks.

Something’s gotta give, and it’s going to be St. Louis’ offense because the Hawk D is that good.  Hawks win ugly 16-6

 

San Francisco 49ers (2-1) @ New York Jets (2-1)

I would say this is a possible trap game for the 9ers, but after last week’s perfectly laid trap by a pack of Vikings, these 9ers are not going to be sleeping.

San Fran grounds the Jets 24-10

 

Tennessee Titans (1-2) @ Houston Texans (3-0)

Houston’s just way too perfect, and Tennessee is just young and dumb enough to not realize they should lose this game.

Titans make it interesting, but Houston’s just too good still.  And they’re at home.  28-14 Texans.

 

Oakland Raiders (1-2) @ Denver Broncos (1-2)

Who saw the Silver and Black beating the Black and Yello?.  Not this sheep, who clearly had money on the Steelers.

Peyton won’t be 1-3, especially at home.  Broncos win 24-14

 

Miami Dolphins (1-2) @ Arizona Cardinals (3-0)

Wanna keep this short but worth looking at, so here’s Lauren Tannehill.

Cards win by a lot 31-10

 

Cincinnati Bengals (2-1) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2)

Cat Fight!  (Yes, I could have easily gone with two hot ladies fighting, but I thought, “That cat has a SWORD!  And the other one is WEARING PANTS!  Doesn’t get much better than animals wearing pants…”)

The Jags are the ones with a sword, they win 14-10

 

New Orleans Saints (0-3) @ Green Bay Sackers… er, PACKers

Awful lot of complaining from an offensive line that allowed 8 sacks in a half against the Seahawks.  Where the Packers right to complain?  Heck yes.  But maybe the offensive linemen shouldn’t have been whining so much.

Green Bay makes amends, Saints join the Browns at 0-4, GB 21-14

 

Washington Redskins (1-2) @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-2)

RGIII back on the road again.  Tampa back home after dropping two straight road games.

The Bucs continue the seemingly endless onslaught against the Redskin quarterback, win 21-10

 

New York Giants (2-1) @ Philadelphia Eagles (2-1)

The Eagles are the ugliest winning team in the league, and now there’s a slight QB controversy to deal with.

Not to mention a really good Giants team whose had 10 days to prep for them.  Big Blue wins 31-14

 

Chicago Bears (2-1) @ Dallas Cowboys (2-1)

“Da bears” take on “How ‘Bout Dem Cowboys?!”

The fact they got Ditka in a Cowboy costume, and not just this one, tells me Dallas is destined to win 21-10

Back in Black (And white)

Just a regular old weekend in the NFL eh?  For the record, that was an interception, no matter what the NFL says.  Having said that, as a lifelong Seattle fan, I am more than happy to accept the gift handed to us by the Replacement Officials.  I have heard some say this makes up for the egregious calls made in Super Bowl XL.  No.  Bleepin.  Way.  (Seahawk fan viewer discretion heavily advised) Makes up for the Vinny Testaverde loss to the Jets Dennis Erickson’s last season though.

Cleveland Browns (0-3) @ Baltimore Ravens (2-1)

There are two winless teams in the NFL this season, and one of them has to travel to Baltimore to play the Ravens on national TV.  There are some positives in there for the Browns though….. uh, positives, positives…  boy there have to be some positives there… 

I guess when they lose 24-10 the real refs will be there.

Old School D-Jack and Older School Sonics

This week we introduce Griffining, still waiting on the Eagles, and WE HAVE AN ARENA AGREEMENT!

Happy Hawks, Sad Eli, Angry Cowboy Fan

Wow, couldn’t have been much further off on that Panthers/Giants game.  Just shows how good Eli is that he can take a bunch of backups and destroy a team on the road.  Lets see if I can release my inner Eli this week and win more than 10 games.  Suddenly I don’t like San Diego that much…

 

St. Louis Rams (1-1) @ Chicago Bears (1-1)

How about this for a stat, the Rams are the only NFC West team to lose to a team not in the NFC West, and they really should have beaten the Lions.  They travel to face their former coordinator Lovie Smith in what will be a tougher test for the NFC West.  Tougher, unless they can make Jay Cutler cry again, which may not be all that hard.

Bears win, but not easily against an improving Rams squad 17-14

 

Buffalo Bills (1-1) @ Cleveland Browns (0-2)

Should be an interesting dynamic at Jillian’s Billiards Club in Seattle.  Jillian’s has been the bar for Seattle Browns fans to unite to watch their beloved Browns since 1989, and it is packed with Browns fans every Sunday.  Upstairs, Bills fans unite to watch their team.  So if you’re planning on going to Jillian’s Sunday, make sure you align yourself with the right team.

Wear your Brown and Orange, they will be the winning team 21-14

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) @ Dallas Cowboys (1-1)

These are two teams coming off emotional losses for very different reasons.  Tampa had the World Champs beat IN New York and couldn’t finish them off.  While the Cowboys themselves didn’t show much emotion, this sailor mouth of a fan sure did.  (We prompted that Hawk fans, BOOM!)

Well this blurb is almost over, I’ll just calmly tell you who will wi….OOOOFFF!  Come on Tampa!  I was just gonna finish my pick!  Why are you coming at me like that???  Because of that, Dallas wins 17-10

 

Detroit Lions (1-1) @ Tennessee Titans (0-2)

Jim Schwartz returns to his last NFL home, this time with a pretty good team in tow.  Tennessee has gotten off to a rough start under young quarterback Jake Locker, though in his defense, those games were against New England and San Diego, two tough teams. 

Doesn’t get any easier this week, Detroit drops them to 0-3 with a 24-14 win

 

Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2) @ Indianapolis Colts (1-1)

Two of the up and coming quarterbacks of the AFC South square off at Lucas Oil as Blaine Gabbert brings his cats to face Andrew Luck’s baby horses.  Obviously Gabbert has farther to go than Luck to being a really good pro, but he already has a running game to lean on.  Watching these division rivals grow over the next couple years will be interesting for AFC South fans.

Indy has home field, and Luck, on their side.  Colts win 17-10

 

New York Jets (1-1) @ Miami Dolphins (1-1)

It was (Steel) curtains for the Jets explosive offense against Pittsburgh last week, while Miami got what will likely be a rare win this year against the visiting Raiders.  Miami was one of Tim Tebow’s victims last season, so they, like Pittsburgh, will be looking for a little revenge.

Looking for revenge and actually GETTING the revenge are two different things.  Jets win a squeaker 14-13

 

San Francisco 49ers (2-0) @ Minnesota Vikings (1-1)

The 9ers look better and better every week.  Even Alex Smith is starting to look like a decent pro quarterback.  It makes you wish Jim Harbaugh was a likable guy.  It’s going to be tough for anyone on Minnesota to have a good day, whether you’re talking about the still running gingerly Adrian Peterson or the second year quarterback Christian Ponder.

Another game, another road team will win, 9ers 28-10

 

Kansas City Chiefs (0-2) @ New Orleans Saints (0-2)

Can you believe THIS is a battle of 0-2 teams?  Heck, most people (me included) figured the Chiefs would have win by now, let alone the Saints.  Seems the head coach may be a bigger deal than any of us knew.  The Saints have to be particularly perturbed after the team that beat them last week, Carolina, was crushed at home on Thursday.

I won’t be picking the Chiefs for a while.  Saints protect their home with a 31-10 win

 

Cincinnati Bengals (1-1) @ Washington Redskins (1-1)

Pacman is STILL in the league!  Of course, he wants to be known as Adam Jones now, but he will forever be Pacman.  Besides, Baltimore already has a pretty dang good Adam Jones on their team.  (He looks familiar…)  RGIII will make his home debut, which should have our Nation’s Capital pretty jacked up after two very solid performances by their prized rookie.

Redskins Griffin their way to a home win 24-17

 

Philadelphia Eagles (2-0) @ Arizona Cardinals (2-0)

How are these teams 2-0? I mean seriously, the Eagles escaped their first two games by the hair on their beaky-beak-beaks. (I really don’t think Eagles have chins)  Meanwhile the Cardinals greased up Braylon Edwards’ gloves to win Week 1, and SOMEHOW dodged a bullet kicked by Stephen Gostkowski to win IN New England.  Even wilder, after this week one of these teams will (likely) be 3-0. 

As wacky a start these two teams have had, I’m tempted to pick a tie, but this isn’t futball, its Football!  Cards win 24-14

 

Atlanta Falcons (2-0) @ San Diego Chargers (2-0)

Atlanta was clearly ticked that I thought Peyton Manning would own them, so they owned him with three first quarter interceptions off the future Hall Of Famer.  They face their third AFC West team in as many weeks, heading back out on the road to face the Chargers in San Diego.  After beating up on a couple teams that don’t look all that threatening this year, San Diego gets its first true test with the Falcons flying into their dojo. 

They will fail this test as Atlanta goes 3-0 against the AFC West 21-17

 

Houston Texans (2-0) @ Denver Broncos (1-1)

Many believe that Houston has a great shot to go to the Super Bowl this year, but they are another squad that has yet to face a truly good team, having beaten Miami at home and the Jags on the road.  Facing the man who some seasons single handedly kept them from winning the division, the Texans can try and get some measure of revenge against Peyton Manning.  Manning though is coming off one of the worst performances of his career against the Falcons, so he will be extra prepared this week, especially since he is playing a team he is used to dealing with.

Manning rebounds to help his Broncos win a tight one 31-28

 

Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1) @ Oakland Raiders (0-2)

Based on the jerseys this is a great old school match up.  But the old-school rivalry is just that: old.  The Raiders can’t seem to get out of their own way, and have completely fallen apart because of it.  Last week’s loss to Miami should have been a wakeup call, but the Raiders haven’t shown the ability to improve upon bad games since the 2002 season.  Pittsburgh would’ve had an easy time with this game, were it not for the fact that their two best defensive players, Troy Polomalu and James Harrison, are out with injuries. 

Because of that, the Raiders keep it close, only lose 24-10 to Pittsburgh

 

New England Patriots (1-1) @ Baltimore Ravens (1-1)

Let’s face it, this of all the games should be a battle of 2-0 teams.  Neither had any business losing to the birds they lost to last week.  New England singlehandedly (or maybe singlefootedly Mr. Gostkowski) cut most survivor pools in half across the land by losing AT HOME to the Cardinals.  The last time the Pats lost a home opener, Tom Brady finished the game, but a man named Drew Bledsoe started for the Patriots.  Of course, it can be pointed out that the Pats went on to win the Super Bowl that year then.  Baltimore can’t believe they were Vicktimized in that game, much like the Browns in Week 1.  You can’t call the Eagles a “buzz saw”, more like a “plastic knife”, but the Ravens allowed themselves to be cut by it.  Now a ticked off Tom Brady comes to town.

He will be facing a ticked off Ray Lewis though, still mad at Paul Rudd for saying “Spike!”.  Ravens win ugly, 13-10

 

Green Bay Packers (1-1) @ Seattle Seahawks (1-1)

What a weird schedule for Green Bay.  Start off on a normal Sunday, then play four days later against a division rival, then get 11 days off before travelling to face their former back-up quarterback.  That would be the Seahawks CURRENT backup quarterback Matt Flynn.  (Can’t believe they are still charging full price for his jersey…)  So Flynn will be in a familiar seat for this game while Green Bay faces former Wisconsin stand out Russell Wilson, so there is still a little bit of the QB battle ESPN wanted.  Only now it will be Aaron Rodgers versus the guy who shared a state with him for a year.  They really should be focusing on both Offense vs. Defense battles though.  You’ve got the rookie Wilson going against an improved Packers defense lead by Clay Mathews, who already has found the quarterback and done his little flex thing six times this year.  Then you have Rodgers and his plethora of pass catchers daring to enter the Legion of Boom, a group that should make Golden Tate an honorary member after he destroyed Sean Lee last week.  (I mean, Lee landed on his nameplate!)  While they may not have gotten the Rodgers vs. Flynn that they wanted, ESPN should still be plenty happy about this game.

The Seahawks will also be plenty happy about this game, nipping the Packers 31-28

The Pants are too tight for the Giants

Last Week: 10-6

Season: 20-12

New York Giants (1-1) @ Carolina Panthers (1-1)

Everyone wearing anything New York Giants gear should lock themselves in their houses for the next week or so, because even the very act of walking down their driveway will likely result in a debilitating knee injury.  Of course, staying inside means they might do something dangerous, like play chess.  The long and the short of it is the Giants are banged up, and banged up bad.  Ahmad Bradshaw, Domenik Hixon, Hakeem Nicks, and David Diel will all miss Thursday’s game, meaning as long as the Carolina secondary can Salsa dance, Eli will have a hard time passing for 500+ yards the next couple games, let alone in one game, as he did against Tampa Bay last week.  Makes you understand why Tom Coughlin was so aggravated by Tampa hitting coming after the Giants offense on the kneeldown at the end of the game.  The last thing he needed was ANOTHER injury to an offensive player.   It’s a good thing for New York that the defense is mostly intact, because the Panthers actually discovered their running game against the Saints.

That running game will help carry the Panthers to a 28-24 victory.

Return of Butterfingers

Kansas City Chiefs (0-1) @ Buffalo Bills (0-1)

Rematch time!  From the opening of the season last year…  Going  into the 2011 season, people were pretty excited about what the Chiefs might be able to do with some of their young weapons.  People figured the Bills were gonna just exist for yet another season.  41 points later, Buffalo looked like they might be one of the surprise teams of 2011.  7 points later, the Chiefs were on their way to a quiet 2011.  A year later the Bills are giving up 48 points to a Jets team people weren’t expecting a lot out of and Ryan Fitzpatrick is throwing 3 interceptions.  It’s hard to take a lot from KC’s first game as they ran into a buzzsaw in the Atlanta Falcons.  Not often you score 24 points… and lose by 16 at home.  The Chiefs are mad about last week, and mad about last year.

Mad enough to get a road win in the NFL, Chiefs win 30-14

 

Cleveland Browns (0-1) @ Cincinnati Bengals (0-1)

Anything more ominous than being engulfed in a giant American Flag?  Probably, but after doing so, Brandon Weeden went out and threw 4 picks and no touchdowns for a quarterback rating of 5.1.  Now, the jury is still out on if the quarterback rating is really a good measure of how well a quarterback does.  Like many other stats, it can be misleading, but when it’s that low, that’s pretty eye opening.  Weeden missed many wide open receivers in a game Cleveland should have won.  It wasn’t all terrible on offense for Cleveland as Trent Richardson welcomed Kurt Coleman to the Richardson house.  Turns out Trent is old school and feels that men should doff their hats in his house.  In classic Browns fashion, he was tackled for loss on the following third and one play, but number 33 looks promising.  Cincy meanwhile is hoping Andy Dalton avoids a Sophomore slump.  A playoff team last year, last week showed they still have a little ways to go as Baltimore railroaded them in the Charm City.  Now they open their home schedule in a stadium named after the guy (Paul Brown) against the team named for the same guy. 

Brown would be more proud of the team playing in his building than the team using his name as the Bengals win 21-10

 

Minnesota Vikings (1-0) @ Indianapolis Colts (0-1)

You think his knee is alright?  Adrian Peterson ticked off Toby Gerhart fantasy owners by rushing for two touchdowns on a surgically repaired knee in the Vikings overtime win over Jacksonville, further proving we need to hire these guys, because there is no way AP (or AD (All Day) (Should I really be putting parenthesis inside parenthesis?  English teachers everywhere are getting their rulers ready…) as people call him) is human.  Andrew Luck showed that he IS actually human as he wasn’t able to beat the Bears in Chicago, something that would have had everyone a little suspicious considering the puppies he and his Colt teammates are right now.

Cute as puppies are, AD/P is used to running inside and the Vikings will win again 20-10

 

Oakland Raiders (0-1) @ Miami Dolphins (0-1)

Not often you lose a game because of a long snapper.  Long snappers everywhere are saying “SEEEEE?!?  You need us too!”  That’s why you hear countless times that football is the “Ultimate Team Game”.  As great as Joe Montana might have been, something totally out of his control could have lost the game for his team.  Not that I am comparing the Raiders to a team lead by Joe Montana by any means.  Miami also can’t be compared to a team lead by Mr. Montana, though they have held a lead this year, something that people didn’t expect from them for the first quarter of the season.  It was only 3-0, but it’s something…

Oakland gets the early season wake up call, Miami stuns Oakland 14-13

 

Arizona Cardinals (1-0) @ New England Patriots (1-0)

Kevin Kolb may have gotten the light under his butt that he needed.  After losing the starting gig this preseason, the Seahawks rolling John Skelton’s ankle may have finally given the very handsomely paid Kolb the starting gig.  If he drives the team down the field like he did against Seattle, he may actually deserve it.  No question who the Patriots starting quarterback is.  The only question is, “Can Gronk relearn how to spike?”

He can, and will have many chances to since he’s on a team that will ACTUALLY USE THE TIGHT END IN THE RED ZONE PETE!  IS ZACH MILLER EVEN ON THE TEAM???  WE KNOW KELLEN WINSLOW SURE ISN’T!  AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON EVAN MOORE!  Sorry Patriot and Cardinal fans, a little frustration from a Seattle fan from last week.  Pats win 34-17

 

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-0) @ New York Giants (0-1)

(TWEET!  False start, Seahawks number 76… Damnit Russell!  It’s not time for the Hawks pick.  Still jumpy from last week…)  Tampa did have themselves a good week against Cam and the Pants, keeping last year’s rookie of the year in check.  After a highly disappointing year last season, Tampa and new coach Greg Schiano are off to a good start.  Now a trip to the defending Super Bowl Champs house looms, a true test of how much the Bucs have actually improved.  New York should wear their red uniforms to better illustrate their embarrassment of being the first Super Bowl champ to lose the season opener the next year since the NFL began the Thursday Season Opener in the 2004 season.

Tampa REALLY makes the Giants red, beats the champs 20-14

 

Baltimore Ravens (1-0) @ Philadelphia Eagles (1-0)

Mike Vick looked BAD against the Browns last week.  Joe Flacco looked GREAT against the Bengals last week.  After the two of them conquered Ohio, they fly their birds against each other.  I know what I said (TWEET!  False start Seahawks number 76… Sunuva!  Come on Russell!)  about QB ratings before, but when one quarterback, Flacco, carries a 128.3 rating and the other, Vick, owns a 51.0 rating, THAT is fairly noteworthy. 

In a real life battle, I’d put my money on an Eagle.  This is football though, and the Ravens looked waaaaaaaay better than Philly last week.  24-20 Ravens

 

New Orleans Saints (0-1) @ Carolina Panthers (0-1)

After getting Griffined last week, New Orleans takes their show to Carolina where they face the quarterback many compared to Robert Griffin.  Saints fans can’t be too excited when they gave up 40 points to the rookie, and Cam Newton is coming off a fairly ugly game in Tampa last week.  Now Newton has ugly tape of himself to help improve and tape on how to embarrass the Saint defense.  Not sure there will be a whole lot of defense in this game as New Orleans managed to score 32 points and almost spoiled the RGIII debut with the comeback. 

The punters can take the day off as Carolina has the ball last and wins 45-42

 

Houston Texans (1-0) @ Jacksonville Jaguars (0-1)

It took Houston a quarter and a half to realize that they were playing against an inferior Dolphin team last week, but once they did they showed why many people think they can make a Super Bowl run.  Gotta remember that it still was only against the Dolphins, so fans can’t get too excited, but IF they can stay healthy, Houston should be able to make a deep run.   Jacksonville looked a lot better last week than most were expecting though, and they could prove to be a tougher test in the AFC South.  Maurice Jones-Drew should be ready to handle a full load of carries again.  Could the Jags be ready for a big upset?

No.  Jags make it interesting, but Texans win 27-20

 

Washington Redskins (1-0) @ St. Louis Rams (0-1)

This is the Battle of Teams That Could Be Better Than We Thought.  How about that debut for RGIII???  Washington implementing some of Baylor’s offense into their offense helped make Griffin comfortable in his new job, and he thrived.  Now he’s playing in a dome for the second week in a row, third game in a row if you include the Alamo Bowl.  His offense has scored a combined 107 points in the last two dome games.  Let that marinate for a sec.  You know the Rams have watched that, and with what they were able to do with Mathew Stafford last week, they aren’t afraid.  Two pick-6s show that the Rams have improved this season, and St. Louis won’t be the pushovers they’ve been most of the previous decade.  They may still lose a lot, but they won’t lose spectacularly.

Third dome’s a barn (instead of charm?  Eh? Eh?  Yeah, that was a stretch…) for RGIII, St. Louis grounds the rookie and the Skins 28-24

 

Dallas Cowboys (1-0) @ Seattle Seahawks (0-1)

Remember this Hawk fans?  That’s the last time Tony Romo donned his Cowboy uniform in the Seattle limits, an event that spawned a new adjective in the Seattle sports dictionary: Romoed. 

Romoed (adj) (ro-mo-id)

Definition – To royally screw up.

“She was totally checking you out and you didn’t get her number??  You really Romoed that one.”

“The Mariners organization really Romoed it by including themselves in the anti-arena letter.”

“He fumbles the snap!  He really Romoed that one!”

You get the idea.  Romo and the Cowboys have since beaten the Hawks three times, but not in our nest.  With the Cowboys coming off a big season opening win in New York, Dallas should be riding pretty high.  Seattle meanwhile has a lot of pressure to get a win this week with games against Green Bay, New England, and an improved division rival St. Louis in the coming weeks.  They have got to hope the Cowboys are feeling like the potty mouthed Detective Alonzo Harris from Training Day.

King Kong may not have anything on the Cowboys, but the Seahawks do, birds win 24-20

 

New York Jets (1-0) @ Pittsburgh Steelers (0-1)

The Jets scored 48 points against the Bills last week.  I feel like Luke Wilson in Anchorman, “I did NOT see that coming!”  After a preseason where it took multiple GAMES for the Jets to put a touchdown on the board, they put up the most points of anyone in Week 1.  They should have a little more trouble in Week 2 as they travel to last year’s number one defense.  Pittsburgh had to deal with Peyton Manning last week, and without James Harrison and Ryan Clark.  Now they have Clark back, but maybe no Harrison still and possibly without Mr. Head and Shoulders himself. 

Pittsburgh won’t start 0-2 though, Steelers win 21-17

 

Tennessee Titans (0-1) @ San Diego Chargers (1-0)

Not much went right for Tennessee against New England.  The Patriots did pretty much anything they wanted, their future franchise quarterback Jake Locker hurt his shoulder in a meaningless play, and they lost at home.  They do get to go to San Diego, which is beautiful this time of year I hear, but there won’t be a lot of beach time for Jake and the Titans as Phillip Rivers and the Chargers look to be rude hosts.  They were impolite hose guests last week in knocking out the Raiders long snapper, which led to some comically bad special teams in the Black Hole. 

The Chargers will keep laughing by sending the Titans to 0-2 with a 21-10 win

 

Detroit Lions (1-0) @ San Francisco 49ers (1-0)

There have been some awkward handshakes in our time, but not since Belichick/Mangini has there been a more talked about handshake between coaches since Schwartz/Harbaugh last year.  After giving Detroit their first loss of the season, Jim Harbaugh showed his belly and was a little too excited about the win for Jim Schwartz’s liking.  Now they match up for the first time since then, in Harbaugh’s playground this time.  San Fran looked amazing in their win over Green Bay IN Green Bay.  Detroit looked ugly in their win over St. Louis at HOME.

Detroit is a good team, San Fran is a great team (just not great dunkers)  9ers shake off Detroit 28-17

 

 

Denver Broncos (1-0) @ Atlanta Falcons (1-0)

Well Peyton looks pretty good, eh?  The Steeler defense sure thinks so.  The Steelers didn’t have all their best players on D available, but Manning made it look easy picking apart the Black and Yellow like the Peyton of old.  Now he goes back to a place where he feels comfortable, a dome.  After spending his whole career playing in Indy at the RCA Dome and Lucas Oil Field, the Georgia Dome should feel like home for him again.  Atlanta will be excited to open up their home schedule after a huge win in Kansas City in Week 1 where they hung 40 on the Chiefs. 

The Falcons are at home, but domes are Peyton’s Place.  Broncos win a thriller 34-31